inside a shattered soul

no heart

2012-02-21T10:03:00.000-08:00

Death to me is no tragedy... death to me is sweet relief

Life’s tragic... with all the sadness and grief

With all the pain and endless tears

This world is cold and dark

This world has lost its heart

Fade away

2011-04-29T13:48:00.000-07:00

FADE AWAY

Too much confusion in my mind

I don’t know what and I don’t know why

How am I suppose to hold on

To this cold and dark place

When my mind tells me

It will always be the same

I want to cry

I want to scream

I want to die

I want to bleed

I want to run

I want to stay

I want to fade away

With this broken heart of mine

How will I find the strength I need to survive

I don’t know how

In this cold and dark place

With all this pain and sorrow

I wish there was no tomorrow

I want to cry

I want to scream

I want to die

I want to bleed

I want to run

I want to stay

I want to fade away

http://youtu.be/ypYDNtKrPnc

Broken tears

2011-03-23T13:53:00.000-07:00

I never thought I would miss

The tears that didn’t stop

But now when the emptiness

Is worse than the pain

Nothing is all that remains

My tears are broken and I’m numb

All from a pain too strong

Now emptiness is all I feel

I want to cry but there are no tears

The shadows that used to haunt me

Is now a thick black mist

I’m more lost then ever

In this cold forsaken place

There’s no way to go

Nowhere to run

I don’t even know why I’m holding on

Broken tears is all I got

Broken tears in the lonely dark

I close my eyes

2011-03-22T11:31:00.000-07:00

I close my eyes and I see your face

I close my eyes and it feels like you are here

I close my eyes and I see your smile

I close my eyes to be next to you

I never want to open them again

cuz I know that you'll be gone

You won't be here

and I'll be all alone in this dark room,

falling into little pieces as I always do

I close my eyes to look into yours

So heavenly blue deep and pure

I could be lost in them forever

If I just got the chance

And I would never let you go

I close my eyes

cuz that's the only way I'll ever be with you

It is

2011-03-22T11:27:00.000-07:00

I just want it all to end
I'm so tired to pretend

Every smile is a lie

The truth I keep inside

It's the pain

That won't leave

It's the scars

That never will heal

It's the tears

I cry at nights

It's everything and nothing

At the same time

It's what makes me wish

I wasn't alive...

Finns DU där då??? /Are YOU there then???

2011-03-22T11:26:00.000-07:00

Finns DU där då???

En kniv så skinande å vass

Ett liv så smärtsamt å skört

En lögn leder till lycka
Å sanningen till smärta

En tår rinner från mina ögon
Som en droppe blod ifrån ett sår

En smärta så olidlig
Ett steg å det e slut

Hopp om lycka försvinner
Som en låga som blåses ut

När allt blir för mycket
Å jag önskar att jag inte fanns

Finns Du där då??

~~Translation~~

"Are YOU there then???

A knife so shining and sharp

A life so painful and fragile

A lie leads to happiness

And the truth to pain

A tear falls from my eyes

Like a drop of blood from a wound

A pain so unbearable

One step and it's over

Hope of happiness disappears

Like a flame that gets blown out

When everything is too much
And I wish I didn't exist

Are you there then???"

Isn’t it pathetic

2011-03-22T11:23:00.000-07:00

Isn’t it pathetic

How she cries alone in the dark

Isn’t pathetic

Like she is the only one with a broken heart

Isn’t it pathetic

How she wish she wasn’t alive

Isn’t it pathetic

How she takes out the knife

Isn’t I pathetic

How she watch it bleed

Isn’t it pathetic

How she stops to breathe

Isn’t it pathetic

How I wish it was me

A feeling that's here to stay

2011-03-22T11:20:00.000-07:00

I cry my lonely tears

All alone in the dark

My scars is so deep

That I can feel it in my heart

A sadness that won't go away

A feeling that's here to stay

The tears are falling from my cheek

Into the darkness of the room

It’s a feeling that I don’t wont

To exist that lingers inside of me

A sadness that won't go away

A feeling that's here to stay

My pillow is wet from the tears I shed

And my eyes are red

I’m searching for hope and reason

And I’m wondering why

Everything is like this

A sadness that won't go away

A feeling that's here to stay

NOTHING BUT THE EMPTINESS

2011-03-22T11:19:00.000-07:00

In the darkness of the night

Everything comes crashing down

The words you said

Echoes in my head

The pain aches in my heart

And I’m trying to hold back the tears

But it’s impossible

And they start to roll down my cheeks

The air is disappearing

And I can’t breathe

I wish I could run away from here

And just disappear

My body is trembling

I still can’t get any air

The pain is unbearable

And I just want it all to end

I wish I could reach the knife

That lies beside me

So I could watch the pain bleed away

But I can’t move

Gasping for air

I lay on the ground crying

As the pain slowly disappears

And then it’s nothing left

NOTHING BUT THE EMPTINESS

I'm sorry

2011-03-22T11:18:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry for what I almost did

And for the thing that I've done

I'm sorry for what I said

I'm sorry for wasting your time

I'm sorry for my thoughts

I'm sorry for they pain I cause

I'm sorry for breathing

I'm sorry for not

I'm sorry for what I am

I'm sorry for everything I'll never be

I'm sorry for the tears

I'm sorry for not being that strong

I'm so sorry… for being me

Missing

2011-03-22T11:17:00.000-07:00

A shadow nothing else

That is what I am

The days go by

And the tears I cry won't go away

The pain inside is so strong

I don't know when it all went so wrong

I'm just another missing soul lost in the dark

Trying to find what has been lost

The tears I can't control

And the pain is taking hold

I don't know what to do

But I can't go on like this anymore

I have to find what's missing inside

Before I fall, fall all the way down

Then the pain will take over

And I will be forever lost

And go missing in the dark

Struggle in the night

2011-03-22T11:16:00.000-07:00

With the razorblade tight in my hand

I watch the scars I did yesterday

And trying to resist the urge

Of doing new ones today

The struggle inside is so strong

I want to bleed

I want to feel the pain

I know it's stupid

But it feels so good

So how could it be wrong

The blade touch my skin

And the pain makes its way to my brain

And blood drips out my veins

...Darkness always wins...

Underneath the tree

2011-03-22T11:15:00.000-07:00

I lay here watching how the branches are twisted by the cold dark wind

& the leafs that swirl violently in its cruel hands

until they finally fall to the ground all around me

& I can’t help but to think

that if I lay here long enough

I would be buried in a colorful grave

& eventually I would fade away...

Silent screams in the night

2011-03-22T11:14:00.000-07:00

The tears roll down from her eyes

And she’s screaming as loud as she can

But still there is no sound

It’s all in her mind

She sits there alone in the dark

Staring right through the wall

And if you could hear her silent cries

You would hear her plea to die